HOW DONALD TRUMP BECAME BILL BELICHICK ON STEROIDS

How Donald Trump Became Bill Belichick on Steroids 

Golf is Trump’s game, and presumably those bone spurs that got him out of going to Vietnam would have prevented him from playing football. But the key to his political success with males has been…. the great all-male sport of football. 

Football is about ardent loyalty and fierce hatred. Bear faans loathe all things Packers, and of course vice-versa. You aren’t really a Bears fan unless you hate all things Green Bay. Trump males are receptive to the idea that it is not enough to love Trump. You must also despise everyone who gets in his way, from Hillary Clinton to George Cloney to the cast of HAMILTON. 

Football is about winning. The late Packers coach Vince Lombardi said winning isn’t everything but the only thing. Alas, however, the Packers and Bears sometimes lose. You can look it up.  Sometimes you even see it with your own poignant eyes. Trump, however, has solved this problem–HE NEVER LOSES. Even when he loses, he wins. Just ask him and his millions of male football fans. It’s like being a Packers fan and going to the SuperBowl every year. Even if the Bears or Packers aren’t actually there, with Coach Trump you can swear that they were.  You will remember it well. And if anyone  says you’re wrong, well, you can always riot. 

Football is the last all-male sport. Women compete in the Olympics and play basketball. There have been all-women baseball leagues. There is a WNBAd but no WNFL. Trump is unpopular among women but popular among men. It is quite possible that his devotees might be a bit more likely to slap the old lady around a bit more after a Jets or Raiders loss. Backing a victorious team is great for male self-esteem; backing a losing one, not so much. With the MAGA Maulers, though, you will never lose. 

And then there is the mystique of the coach, or DA coach, as Bears fans used to say in the 80s. On SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE the Chicago SuperFans thought Mike Ditka would win at every sport, including the Kentucky Derby. liron Mike was the sort of hyper-masculine straight shooting loud mouth familiar at every small town bar. He was an expert on everything–just ask him. He once toyed with running for Senate against…Barack Obama.The present writer, a self-confessed Bears fan, can recall thinking that the Bears could not lose, not because of Walter Payton or Richard Deht, but because with Ditka at the helm…no way. 

When, the next year, the Bears did lose, I went around in denial for weeks. In 2004 Coach Trump can’t possibly lose, can he?  Just ask Iron Don down at  the local tap. 

The Democrats have nominated for Vice President a high school football coach who lost some games.  He is the Reality Principle coach. The Republicans have a Fantasy Principle coach. Even if he loses in 2024, he will have won and will be ready to win yet again in 2028 at age 82.  And he’ll win the Super Bowl every year in between.